It surprises me looking back at my history that it's been several months since I've last written anything. Well at least written anything that has been published up here. It's kind of like dusting off an old book you used to like to read, only this feels different. I don't think I'll write a lot, but I think it's funny that I'm able to write anything at all. Usually I look for some kind of substance to write with, like an event or something, but I'm happy to meander about today. Kind of like a leisurely afternoon stroll. Those are things it doesn't feel like we do anymore. Maybe confined to a select group of geriatrics who seem to know how to enjoy the outdoors for all its splendours. Finding events and whatnot to write about seem hard to come by anyway. At the same time I suppose this may be a window into what I've been thinking recently, which I suppose might be the only interaction I'll have for a little while. 

Having come back from Japan it's been a bit of a rush for me. I suppose it's a testament to my planning that I was able to come back before any assessments were due. I'd done some pretty meticulous research about it all, because if I had of come back after a mid-sem or an assignment or something; it would have been pretty damn frustrating. It's not really any different to anybody else I know - we've all been busy with things and it must seem trivial in comparison. So I got back, found I had many assessments within close proximity and hadn't started with worse yet, very little clue about what the subject was about. In other words it was about as normal a semester as any other. Things were back to normal. To everyone else I think it's been quite gruelling. These aren't the days anymore where it was cool to wag lectures and brag about it. It seems everyone around me has suddenly grown up ten years - something I can't profess I've even considered doing. In a sense I feel more childlike than most other people as they endeavour towards completing honours, with perhaps post-grad degrees in mind or jobs or careers. For a pathetic bum like myself the only pursuits I've been looking forward to are finishing my books, with perhaps some tennis on the side. When people ask me about what I've got planned for after I graduate (which is in like a month or so) all I can do is clear my throat and murmur that I actually haven't got anything planned whatsoever. Whenever I say that I immediately feel the atmosphere harden around me, like there's a negative stigma attached to anybody who hasn't worked out their life-plan until their mid-thirties. Conversation itself starts to cool down drammatically, and it seems like things get dumbed down in favour of the poor unambitious bastard. There may have been a time I cared about that but it certainly isn't now. The things I treasure right now are my youth and freedom, without having to worry about where the next ten years may take me. I've always wanted to do things differently, and I suppose it just takes time to work out exactly what I do want to do. Don't get me wrong, I won't be shirking any responsibilities and not applying for grad positions next year. But I suppose my thoughts lie elsewhere.

I suppose then that it doesn't surprise myself that I enjoy hanging out with people who aren't in that social predicament as of yet. In fact people such as Kevin Wang and David Oon can be only be two of a few people who have grown more childlike the older they get. It suits me fine however, and I'm content to sit around playing with "Nerf guns," these bright yellow plastic toys that shoot foam darts, and to endlessly chide Kevin Wang about how he's getting fat. Seriously, if you see him, point it out. He's rather self-conscious about it. It kind of pains me in a way that some people I used to think I knew so well seem so different. Perhaps even they don't realise it themselves, but they're different. It doesn't feel like they're the people I used to fool around with, they're different. I suppose it's different when you catch up with a person for a coffee compared to when you catch up with a person to grab a drink - and get drunk. I suppose we've become people with less time, without time to catch up without needing some kind of special occasion like a birthday. I must admit that part of me scorns the idea of not having enough time. It seems absurd to me that there's not enough time to do things like hanging out with friends. But who am I to talk? I do commerce and economics after all.

In short things have been rather uneventful. All I can do now is keep my head down for the next month and a half until everything's finished. I suppose it's time to head back to my assignments. I should be thankful that "Facebook" hasn't yet wrestled control of my own life away from me and turned it into a deadly spiral of "Tetris," "Bejewelled," and err..."Mafia Wars" games. People need to get a DS. Those things are so much more fun.